Ringo Starr

• Liverpool can be a lonely place on a Saturday night, and this is only Thursday morning.

• Be pacific.

Chief Blue Meanie

• A thing of beauty… destroy it forever! A pun on the opening line of the John Keats poem Endymion: “A thing of beauty is a joy forever.”

Jeremy Hillary Boob, Ph.D, the Nowhere Man

• Yes! Ah, “yes” is a word with a glorious ring!

A true universal, euphonious thing!
Engenders embracing and chasing of blues!
The very best word for the whole world to use!

Dialogue

:John: Hey, Jeremy, must you always talk in rhyme?
:Jeremy: Ha-ha!
If I spoke prose, you’d all find out
I don’t know what I talk about!
Ad hoc, ad loc and quid pro quo!
So little time, so much to know!
:Paul: Hey, fellas, look!
:Jeremy: [writing with his foot] The footnotes for my 19th book!
This is my standard procedure for doing it;
and while I compose it, I’m also reviewing it!
:George: A Boob for all seasons.
:Paul: How can he lose?
:John: Were your notices good?
:Jeremy: It’s my policy never to read my reviews!
:Ringo: I wonder what would happen if I pull this lever.
:Old Fred: You mustn’t do that!
:Ringo: I can’t help it, I’m a born Lever-puller. “Lever-puller” is a pun on “Liverpooler”, as Ringo and indeed all the Beatles are. (The usual term for people from Liverpool, England is “Liverpudlian”.)
:Paul: Look, it’s a school of whales.
:Ringo: They look a little bit old for school.
:Paul: University then.
:Ringo: University of whales.
:John: They look like drop-outs to me.
:George: Hey! There’s a Cyclops!
:Paul: Can’t be. It’s got two eyes.
:John: Must be a “bicycle-ops” then.
:Ringo: There’s another one.
:John: A whole “cyclopedia”!
:George: John!
:John: George?
:George: How do we get them out?
:John: Break the glass.
:Ringo: We can’t, it’s Beatle-proof.
:John: Nothing is Beatle-proof.
:Big Blue Meanie: Pepperland is a tickle of joy upon the blue belly of the universe. It must be scratched, right Max?
:Max: [saluting] Yes, Your Blueness!
:Big Blue Meanie: What? What? What! We Meanies only take “No” for an answer! Is that understood, Max?
:Max: No, Your Blueness!
:Big Blue Meanie: Are the troops in readiness?
:Max: No, Your Blueness!
:Big Blue Meanie: The Bonkers?
:Max: No!
:Big Blue Meanie: Clowns?
:Max: No!
:Big Blue Meanie: Snapping Turks?
:Max: No!
:Big Blue Meanie: Anti-Music Missile?
:Max: No!
:Big Blue Meanie: The Dreaded Flying Glove?
:Max: No!
:Big Blue Meanie: Splendid! Today, Pepperland goes Bluey. Fire!
[Anti-Music Missile is fired, encasing Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band in a glass ball, general panic ensues.]
:George:Is that the motor?
:Fred: Can’t you tell one when you see one?
:George: Course I can, let me peruse it.
[George pokes the motor and electrocutes himself.]
:Fred: Well, what do you think?
:George: I think I burnt me finger….

Taglines

• The forces of good! The forces of evil!

• It’s all in the mind, y’know.

• Nothing is real.

Footnotes

Source: Wikiquote