- Her name is not ‘Sticks’. She’s Elora Danan, the future Empress of Tir Asleen…and the last thing she’s gonna want is a hairy chest!
- Absolutely, under no condition whatsoever, is anyone in this family to fall in love with that baby!
- Goodbye, Sticks. If you really are a princess, take care of him.
- Well my mother raised me on blackroot. It’s good for you. It puts hair on your chest, doesn’t it, Sticks?
- Let me out of here, Airk. Give me a sword, I’ll win this war for you.
- Burglekutt, let me out of here. I’ll take care of the baby, I swear. Just let me out of here… Please. Vohnkar, let me borrow that spear just for a minute. Well… Well at least give me some water. Burglekutt, don’t leave me alone here with these two! UHH! Well that was really stupid, Peck.
- Get your hair out of my face or I’ll chop it off.
- Ooh, I’m really scared. No! Don’t! There’s a- a peck here with an acorn pointed at me!
- “I love you, Sorsha?!” I don’t love her, she kicked me in the face!
- Don’t play with that wand! It holds vast powers. Only a real sorcerer can use it, not a stupid peck like you.
- Elora Danan must survive. She must fulfill her destiny and bring about the downfall of Queen Bavmorda. Her powers are growing like an evil plague. Unless she is stopped, Bavmorda will control the lives of your village, your children, everyone. All creatures of good heart need your help, Willow. The choice is yours.
- Magic is the bloodstream of the universe. Forget all you know, or think you know. All that you require is your intuition.
- I will consult the bones!! [Disperses the bones on the ground, pausing for a moment, then whispering to Willow discreetly] … The bones tell me… nothing.
- I didn’t ask you to bring me a dead nursemaid. Sorsha, you’re useless.
- General Kael, at last.
- You will do as I say, child.
- Why is it with my powers and the strength of my great army you cannot so much as find one – little – child?
- PREPARE FOR THE RITUAL!
- You’re not warriors. You’re pigs PIGS! YOU’RE ALL PIGS! PIGS!
- Traitor child. I must despise you now.
- Is that the extent of your power, little one?
- Now you will watch me call upon the power of the universe to send that child into the Netherworld! NOW PLACE IT ON THE ALTAR!
- You’re a fool. I shall destroy you and the child with you.
:Willow:: Don’t call me a peck!
:Madmartigan:: Oh, I’m sorry! Peck! Peck! Peck, peck, peck, peck, peck, peck, peck!
:Willow:: You stupid hag! With my magic, I’ll send her into the… into a…
:Bavmorda:: [Bavmorda laughs] You’re no sorcerer!
:Willow:: Into a realm where evil cannot touch her!
:Bavmorda:: Impossible! There’s no such place!
:Willow:: We need your help!
:Madmartigan:: [sarcastically] My help? Why would you need my help? You’re a sorcerer.
:Willow:: You’re a great warrior! And a swordsman!… And you’re ten times bigger than I am, stupid!
:Willow:: Madmartigan, you never, ever drive that fast with an infant!
:Madmartigan:: I just saved that infant’s life!
:Willow:: What’s that?
:Madmartigan:: Smells like a battle.
:Willow:: I suppose you’re a warrior.
:Madmartigan:: I am the greatest swordsman that ever lived. …Say, um, can I have some of that water?
:Willow:: Ouch! What’d you bite me for?
:Fin Raziel:: Three drops of your blood must be put in the potion.
:Willow:: Well, you could’ve warned me!
:Madmartigan:: Did I really… Did I really say those things, last night, in your tent?
:Sorsha:: You said you loved me.
:Madmartigan:: I don’t remember that.
:Sorsha:: You lied to me.
:Madmartigan:: No, I… I just wasn’t myself last night.
:Sorsha:: I suppose my power enchanted you and you were helpless against it.
:Madmartigan:: Sort of.
:Sorsha:: Then what?
:Madmartigan:: It… went away.
:Sorsha:: Went away? ‘I dwell in darkness without you’ and it went away?
:Madmartigan:: What the hell happened up there?
:Willow:: You started spouting poetry. ‘I love you Sorsha! I worship you Sorsha!’ You almost got us killed!
:Madmartigan:: ‘I love you Sorsha?’ I don’t love her, she kicked me in the face! I hate her… Don’t I?
:Madmartigan:: What are you going to look like if this works?
:Fin Raziel:: Don’t interrupt.
:Fin Raziel:: I’m a young beautiful woman.
:Madmartigan:: Concentrate, Willow!
:Madmartigan:: [about Elora] She is kinda cute… When she’s quiet.
:Willow:: She’s really a princess.
:Madmartigan:: Really? And you’re a great sorcerer… And I’m the king of Cashmir. Go to sleep, Willow.
:[Meeting Fin Raziel, who has been turned into a muskrat]
:Rool:: That’s Raziel?
:Franjean:: I don’t know, I expected something more grand, less…
:Rool:: We’ll never catch up with those horses!
:Franjean:: Then we will have to track them.
:Rool:: That would take forever. Besides, even if we find them, they’ll catch us, stick us in cages, torture us and finally devour us!
:Franjean:: Are you suggesting we go home?
:Rool:: Nah. This is more fun!
:Franjean:: All right, fine then. Come on!
:High Aldwin:: [throws an apple into the air which turns into a bird] Go in the direction the bird is flying!
:Burgelcutt:: [relieved] He’s going back to village!
:High Aldwin:: …Ignore the bird! Follow the river.
:Sorsha:: What are you looking at?
:Madmartigan:: Your leg. …I’d like to break it.
:Llug:: Wanna breed?
:Madmartigan:: [disguised as a woman] Tempting… but no.
:Burgelcutt:: [Vohnkar has volunteered to accompany Willow on his quest] No – not Vohnkar! He’s the best warrior in the village, we need him here. Vohnkar – step back!
:High Aldwin: All this expedition needs is a leader. And according to the bones, that leader is… you, Burgelkutt.
- Adventure doesn’t come any bigger than this.
- Forget all you know, or think you know.
- A world where heroes come in all sizes and adventure is the greatest magic of all
- Beyond Good… Beyond Evil… Beyond your wildest imagination…
- Val Kilmer — Madmartigan
- Joanne Whalley — Sorsha
- Warwick Davis — Willow Ufgood
- Jean Marsh — Queen Bavmorda
- Patricia Hayes — Fin Raziel
- Billy Barty — High Aldwin
- Mark Northover — Burglekutt
- Kevin Pollak — Rool
- Rick Overton — Franjean