Programme 1

: Guests: Philip Glenister, Hugo Speer
Neil Morrissey (Referring to Richard Hammond): Petrolheads; the quiz show with medium ranking movie stars and a corporate whore

Programme 2

: Guests: Ronan Keating, Eamonn Holmes
:[Hammond realizes he's smashed into his own Dino yellow Ferrari.]
:Richard Hammond: Tha-a-t’s my car…!

Programme 3

: Guests: Edith Bowman, John Gordon Sinclair
: [The "Interesting Signs" round features a picture a cow falling off a cliff onto a car.]
: Sinclair: Jade Goody rock climbing near here?
:[Morrissey prepares for the "Blindfold Parking" round.]
:Neil Morrissey: We know this is a dangerous stunt, but it’s okay. We have the AA-recommended first-aid kit…
: [He shows a bottle of brandy.]

Programme 4

: Guests: Murray Walker, James May
:May: Can I just say, Hammond, that you are still a cock
:Hammond: That’s Captain Cock to you
:[Barrie notices after the "Blindfold Parking" round that Hammond has moved the other two cars very close together.]
:Chris Barrie: Hang on… one and a half paces compared to about seven when I started? Come on!
:[Barrie prepares for the "Mystery Car" round.]
:Chris Barrie: Murray, we have to win this. At the end, I don’t want Richard going [as Hammond] “It’s the only thing I could do!”

Programme 5

: Guests: Ricky Tomlinson, James Martin

Programme 6

: Guests: John Thomson, Fearne Cotton
:[The boys are drooling over a Ford.]
:Cotton: It’s okay… I was just thinking I need to get some catfood on my way home…

Unidentified programme

:[Morrissey introduces the "Mystery Car" round.]
:Neil Morrissey: And now, the only reason Richard Hammond comes here every week…
:[A skull sign is featured in the "Interesting Sign" round.]
:Richard Hammond: Can I just say that’s a rubbish sign? It just means there’s something bad… “Random Terrifying Event ahead”!

Cast

• Neil Morrissey — Host

• Chris Barrie — Himself

• Richard Hammond — Himself

Source: Wikiquote