Fangoria “Fanny” Gurkel

• D’you know our high school reunion’s comin’ up? Ten years… D’you know how depressing that is? D’you think I don’t wanna slash my fucking wrists when I think about that? Goddamn it!

• Steven, you drive like my fucking grandma! Wait… that’s actually an insult because my grandma drives better than you do!

• [Being thrown out for throwing a tantrum in a mall.] Fucking suburbanized shit!

Others

• Steven Schoichet: I look both ways when I cross the street.

• Heidi Schoichet: [seeing Steven in his underwear, with his dummy dressed as a child] Steven? Gross! You look like a child molester.

Dialogue

:Heidi Schoichet: Because every klezmer band in town is booked and I desperately need a band. But if I hire you, you have to be willing to “hora”. Is that a problem?
:Fangoria “Fanny” Gurkel: Oh man, at this point, I’d fuck anyone.
:Heidi Schoichet: What’re you apologizing to her? She’s an unwed mother.
:Fern Schoichet: Better an unwed mother than just plain unwed.
:Fangoria “Fanny” Gurkel: I bought a gift for you.
:Steven Schoichet: Oh, no.
:Fangoria “Fanny” Gurkel: Actually, I lifted it from Borders. But it’s perfect for your date. It’s classical music.
:Steven Schoichet: Oh, thanks!
:Fangoria “Fanny” Gurkel: Yeah, when you get Lorena alone, put this on. Classical music makes women horny. Just trust me on this one.
:Steven Schoichet: Thanks. “Best of John Philip Sousa”.
:Fangoria “Fanny” Gurkel: Yeah. Chicks dig it.
:Fangoria “Fanny” Gurkel: You can fuck me if I’m wrong!
:Steven Schoichet: No. That’s okay.
:Heidi Schoichet: [about Michael going in jail] Serves him right! I hope you rot in there, fucking loser!
:Fern Schoichet: Heidi! That loser was almost your husband!
:Heidi Schoichet: Why can’t you get it into your head, he’s a psychopath?
:Fern Schoichet: I’m sure he is. But he’s also a very succesful accountant.

Taglines

• The story of a dummy and his man.

• Sometimes you need a little help finding yourself.

• A comedy about finding your voice before you lose your mind.

• Some people can say a lot without moving their lips.

Cast

• Adrian Brody – Steven Schoichet

• Milla Jovovich – Fangoria “Fannie” Gurkel

• Illeana Douglas – Heidi Schoichet

• Vera Farmiga – Lorena Fanchetti

• Jessia Walter – Fern Schoichet

• Ron Leibman – Lou Schoichet

• Jared Harris – Michael Foulicker

Source: Wikiquote